Oh hi! So, like, welcome to Second Life Bimbos! I’m Barbie Sparkles and my best friend is Diamond DeVille, and together we decided it was, like, sooo time to share our lives with the world.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Actually… no I don’t. I never know what I’m thinking. And Diamond doesn’t either. She pretends she does, but come on. She thinks she’s the smart one, but honestly, if you ask me? I think I’m the smart one.

Like, the other night I told her, “You know, diamonds are just old rocks that went to the gym.” And she goes, “Barbie, shut the fuck up.” But I was making science.

Then she asked me, “Do you even know what oxygen is?” and I said, “Yeah, it’s the invisible stuff that smells like outside and makes you not dead.” She said that was the dumbest sentence she’d ever heard, but if you think about it, it’s also the most accurate.

The Blogging Thingy

So I thought blogs were, like, made out of trees. Somebody said, “Barbie, you should start a blog,” and I was like, “Okay but I don’t know how to cut down a log.” Turns out, it’s just typing words online. Which is sooo much easier. Except my nails keep hitting the wrong keys, and now my spacebar has pink gloss smeared across it.

Diamond saw me licking glitter off my fingers while I was typing and said, “Barbie, you look like a raccoon in Sephora.” Which is sooo rude, because I was being hygienic.

Me and Diamond are hot messes, honestly. Like the other night, she told me, “Hurry up, slut,” while we were going out. And I was like, “Okay but where are we even going?”

“Barbie, it’s literally across the street.”

So I crossed the street and almost walked into a wall, but whatever.

Then she goes, “You look like a lost stripper.” And I was like, “Excuse me, I’m not lost, I’m fashionably confused.”

But that’s Diamond. She’s always calling me a slut. And like, okay, if I sleep with 18 guys in one night, apparently I’m the slut. But let’s not forget those 18 guys slept with me and nobody’s calling them sluts.

Are We Second Life Bimbos?

We get called bimbos all the time. I didn’t really think we were Second Life bimbos, but then I was like… maybe we are? Like, if bimbo means I get to wear hot pink and slutty outfits and not worry about math, then sign me up.

The other night Diamond asked me, “Do you even know what gravity is?” and I said, “Yeah, it’s like karma, but for things.” She blinked at me like I’d spoken another language. But really, it just makes sense. When you drop something, gravity’s like, ‘that’s what you get.’

So if that’s bimbo logic, then I guess I’m a bimbo.

This blog is just the start of our adventures. We’re gonna show you our outfits, our disasters, and all the dumb shit we get up to in Second Life.

Like last week, Diamond dragged me to this fancy party. She goes, “Barbie, just act normal.” And I was like, “Okay but what’s normal? Is it, like, walking without falling over?” She just sighed and grabbed me by the arm before I fell into the horse dovers table.

But I made friends with a waiter ‘cause he said I had nice boobs, so really I was networking.

So yeah, that’s me and Diamond. Hot messes.

She’s already yelling at me to hurry up and meet her somewhere. I don’t know where, but she thinks I can read her mind like a paramedic. Which I totally can’t. Unless her mind is saying “bitchy” on repeat, then yes, I can.

So welcome to Second Life Bimbos! Stick around, sparkles it’s gonna be dumb, slutty, and hilarious.